To my dear brother, Looking back at the past 22 years, I don’t regret every single moment I had with you. I don’t regret the time I didn’t spend with you. I don’t’ regret the time I didn’t speak to you. My only regret is that I would not be able to see you grow up into the fine man I knew you would turn out if this had not happened. I remember the first day you came home from the hospital. Frankly, I can’t remember Mum being pregnant. The memory I had was that Mum was walking through the flat we used to live in in Cheras on that fateful day, 5th October or 6th, if I am not wrong. You were in Mum’s arms. I jumped up and down excited, trying to catch a glimpse of you. As I did that, I was asking “What is his name? What is his name?” I don’t think I was ever jealous of you, or maybe this memory is just buried somewhere (these aren’t memories you want to remember), but one thing I’m sure was that I sure was happy as hell that I had a baby brother. I remember helping Mum to fold your napkins when they were dried, and helping Mum to take care of you when she was busy. Given that I was only 4 that time, please forgive me if I cannot remember anything further. Oh wait, perhaps there was some jealousy. There was once a time when I was left alone at home for a while as Mum and Dad had to take you to the doctor, as you were sick. And there was a time when we fought over jelly gummies and you bit me at the back for that. We were initially taken care by nannies. One of them, I remember you being on those baby strollers, learning to walk. Another was Aunt Lillian, where you were put in a playpen. I remember climbing over the playpen to play with you. After that, we had a maid, Mary from Philippines, who took care of us. Dad said once Mary bought a toy puppy for us, which could jump and do somersaults. Dad said that you were so happy that you went to hug Mary’s legs (because you were so small then) and exclaimed, “I love you Mary!” I wished I remembered that. I remember the toy puppy, but I don’t remember you doing that. We moved to Subang Jaya when you were 3 and I was 7. You then started kindergarten and we sent you to Tadika Brainchild, where I can still picture you wearing the blue and white uniform. Your antics of trying to avoid school were hilarious. If Mum, Dad or Aliee sent you there, you would complain of being unwell and they had to bring you home. You would have looked at Dad and said “Dad, I want milk milk” and dad will have to bring you home. Do you remember this girl, Eva? She was a pretty cute classmate of yours. And there was also another who lived near us, as we used to see her in the playground that we frequented. She was always wearing pants and we called her a tomboy. Fast track into your primary school years – Lick Hung Chinese Primary School. We always said that we sent the wrong sibling to a Chinese school. You did not like it as they were very strict and you were a mischievous boy. Mum used to get calls from the discipline teacher to complain about you. Do you still remember the photo of your friend’s butt that you took? And that you brought it to school and showed other people. Ha ha! What I treasure most from your primary school years were your thoughtfulness and the love you showed me. You used to buy pizza slices and all sorts of snacks for me from school. I just found out that the pizza was not cheap! And you took the effort to bring it home for me. Do you remember the necklace you bought for me too? It was from a catalogue and your friends (I suspect it was the girls) showed it to you. One day I came home and there it was! A present! Let’s not forget the whole lot of letter set that you bought for me that had F4 (from the popular Meteor Garden drama). I still have the letter set with me and it will also be a precious memento for me. Oh, I remember something! On your first day of school, you helped another boy who was crying. You comforted him and became his first friend. We never knew of this until his mum rang Mum up to tell her that she was grateful for you helping her son. I always admired how caring and thoughtful you were. You never changed at all because when you entered Brickfield’s for CLP, you meet a good friend who was not a local, by initiating a conversation with him. He said he remembered you as the first person who spoke to him. That is one of your admirable traits. When you completed your UPSR, Mum and Dad promised that we could get a dog! It was that fateful day when we picked you up from school. We had some time to kill and we went into the pet shop near your school. Mum came out excitedly, telling me she spotted the dog we wanted. Sparkie! You brought Sparkie home when she was a wee puppy, and she sat on your lap all the way home. She was so small then and now she is a monster. Ha ha. I gave you a couple of names to choose and you wanted Sparkie. People always think that it’s a male dog. Maybe we should have chosen another name, but she has so much energy, I think Sparkie fit her very well. Talking of pets, we initially had Fido – a mixed Chihuahua. We couldn’t care for it, as we were very young and ended up giving him away to our aunt. Then in primary school, you had a very other pets, which included 2 overgrown hamsters, which I think one was a guinea pig. One got loose in the car when we first took it home, and we couldn’t find it anywhere until I was smart enough to open the glove compartment and there it was, sitting happily on Mum’s hand covers. We also had another dog, Snowy, named after Tin Tin’s dog. Unfortunately, we didn’t manage to take care of it properly and had to give it away. We then decided to bury a note of the dog in our garden. I can’t remember where it was buried anymore, and we did not bother to dig it up again when we shifted to another house. We even reared birds and fishes. Dear Wee Li, There are so many stories of you that I want to share. I will keep them for a later date…